Alcoholics Test

Alright everybody. Lets see how you do.

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Lance Bass is Gay

Accroding to this article Lance Bass of N'Sync and astronaut training fame is gay.

I would say this is my favorite part of the article. "Bass and [Joey Fat-One] Fatone, 29, are developing a sitcom pilot inspired by the screwball comedy "The Odd Couple," in which his character will be gay." Nothing like coming out just in time to promote your pilot about being gay. I'm sure it was very hard for him to be so courageous.

For those of you who haven't yet, please go back and watch the sweetness video. For those of you who have, watch it again.

Here's a joke:

For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a10-speed bicycle.

His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked,"Son, where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him,"I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a$280,000 mortgage & no bike!"

- Ba dum dum!

Lets get Kevin.

Here's an interesting story from last weekend that doesn't involve giant beer steins:

On Friday night I was out to dinner with The First Boob, and Bitch Magnet (He's not Bitch Sauce this week because of his shut out ending, run scoring, leg and arm scraping triple in the FBF game last week) sitting outside at Sopo.

Jelly Fish and Hicks met us after a long day at the cubs game. After they joined us we noticed this guy staggering down the sidewalk on Southport towards us. He stopped about 50 feet short and stood there swaying, and then he stumbled around looking like he was going to puke. He was hanging on parking meters. At one point he was leaning on a random parked car, all the while looking like he was going to throw up on everything. Of course we are laughing and staring at this guy, making jokes like in the last episode of Seinfeld where they stand there and make fun of the fat guy getting mugged.

During all the fun Taylor decided it was a little too long of a day, so he headed home. So as we are making fun of the guy, three girls are walking past him and he step out in front of them like he is trying to pick them up, but instead of doing anything he just falls over. The girls talk to him a little and then walk away. We asked them what was wrong with the guy and they told us they weren't sure if he was just drunk, or what because he had blood all over his face, arms, hands, and shirt. So of course, TFB now wan;t to go make sure that the guy is ok. I am waiting for the check so BM, TFB and Jelly go over to see what is going on.

I get over there and the guy is a total mess. Hi face is all swollen and bloody, he is a drunken puddle and he can barely talk or walk. We try to get him into a cab, but he won't let us telling us that his friends ditched him and that he either fell or was pushed out of a cab. We don't think it was moving at the time but the way this guy looked it is possible. He looked like he may have just fallen flat on his face, like how Jelly fell flat on his back that one time. Like a tree falling over, with no arms to stop him.

He tries to walk away but we walk with him because we can't leave him like that. Actually, as badly messed up as he is, it might be criminally negligent to leave him that way. Anyways, TFB gets him to tell us his name and address. Its Kevin and he doesn't live too far. We walk this guy to his apartment building. He manages to get himself into the outside door, but we don't leave so we can make sure he gets into his apartment.

Its on the first floor so we watch him from outside as he struggles with the key to his door. After about 15 minutes TFB decides to help him so I go in with her. This is the first time I notice the unmistakable smell of poop in the pants. TFB is quick with the door, Kevin waves his hand for us to come in, but we get out of there as quickly as possible. Back on the street I inform the others of the probable load K-man had dropped and Marissa tells he just had the wrong key in the door. we asked her how she figured out which was the right key so quickly and she tells us, the ring only had two keys. Dumb ass drunk Kevin.

We go on our merry way, happy with our good deed.

The moral of the story - when you are going to drink yourself to oblivion, make sure you are with friends who won't throw you out of a cab in the middle of the street.

Who wants to be the Next American Top Surviving Wedding DJ?

Lets keep those playlists coming people.

For those of you who want to break out of your normal routine and enter the glorious world of wedding DJ's this may be your big break.

The contest rules are as follows:

1. You make a play list of the 10 best songs you want to hear at a wedding. Some songs to grind to and some so the people can look longingly into each others eyes while they sway like its an eight grade dance and some where the people can get a little crazy. (Lets think outside the box a little here people - any play-list including the Chicken Dance will be immediately rejected from contention)

2. Take that play-list and post it as a comment to this post.

It's that easy folks.

What is the prize for entering this fabulous contest you ask? Well, I can promise you that your songs will be played at our wedding and you will also be awarded the ability to make requests to the DJ. Only one of my friends and one of Marissa's friends will be able to make requests that will be listened to by the DJ so you will have a lot of control over what is played.

This could be you my friends so lets see what you come up with.

The Boob's Fremont '06 Pictures

Here's my pictures from Fremont. Sorry for the delay.

It's Ryan's Birthday on Sunday!!

Listen to Ahnold junior, and wish Ryan a happy birthday when you see him or he might take away your free tickets to the gun show!

Beerfest

In preparation for the Bierstube on Saturday, here is an idea for a movie that I had:

When American brothers Todd and Jan Wolfhouse travel to Germany to spread their grandfather's ashes at Oktoberfest, they stumble upon a super-secret, centuries old, underground beer games competition—Beerfest—the secret Olympics of beer drinking.

The brothers receive a less than warm welcome from their German cousins, the Von Wolfhausens, who humiliate Todd and Jan, slander their relatives, and finally cast them out of the event.

Vowing to return in a year to defend their country and their family's honor, the Wolfhouse boys assemble a ragtag dream team of beer drinkers and gamers: Barry Badrinath, the consummate skills player with a dark past; Phil Krundle AKA "Landfill," the one-man chugging machine; and Steve "Fink" Finklestein, the lab tech with a Masters degree in All Things Beer.

This Magnificent Five train relentlessly, using their hearts, minds and livers to drink faster, smarter and harder than they ever have before. But first they must battle their own demons... as well as a bunch of big, blond, German jerks who want to destroy the team before they can even make it back to Munich.

Revenge, like beer, is best served cold.

What do you guys think?

Who's that Happy Guy? Fremont Edition

Here is the first of many Who's that Happy Guy?: Fremont 2006 Edition.

Of course you all know the rules, but today we have a special twist. Not only must you correctly guess this week's Happy Guy(s) but you must also correctly describe what those happy ass-holes are doing. In addition, if you were on the trip, only those answers using nicknames will be counted.

I look forward to some spirited participation this week.

And now what you've all been waiting for.....

Who's that Happy Guy?

Last Weeks Winner:

Ryan had the correct guess closely edging out Chris who just missed by guessing that Rory was George Michael from Arrested Development. It must have been the banana suit. Sorry Chris, you were so close.

In lieu of a prize for his correct guess Ryan was bestowed the nickname Shitbox. Long Live Shitbox!

Some people just can't take a joke

Freemont Fireworks

The chocolate runneth hot

Hot Chocolate asked me to inform all interested parties that his streak of sleeping in a car in a bar parking lot on Thursday nights is alive and well at 2 (except there may or may not have been a woman involved this time around). That is all.

Again, sorry for the lack of updates about the trip, I have actually been really busy. Weird, I know. Hopefully it will be better next week.

The Boob speaks...

Good morning everybody. I hope the recovery is going well.

There is a lot to talk about from this weekend, from Tasty Cakes to the Lion, however I haven't really had the time to put anything together yet. I'm glad Ryan got those impressive videos up to give everyone who wasn't there a small taste of what went on.

All in all I say the trip was a rousing success. We found out that our hosts at the Wolf Ridge Cottages are regular visitors to The Fremonteer (hello Brendan) and we also discovered why the Red Snapper is listed for only $89,000 (although I still regret that we didn't scrounge up about $15,000 in cash between us and make an offer).

We saw a guy jump off a bridge and a 4,276 hour long fireworks show. We finally got the cabin with the balcony and we ate more grilled food than is humanly possible. We did some fine pontooning and some even finer drinking (how about those noodle bongs?). At last count we smoked nearly 1,000 cigarettes combined and sang some awesome karaoke. Everyone got nicknames and I think a few of them might actually stick. (I hope to do a comprehensive review of the nicknames tomorrow). And you wouldn't believe how Push-pop got his name.

Anyways, it was a great trip and it is good to be back on the road to sobriety. Here's to Muck Jobs for everyone.

Why drinking is banned in some countries

Get this video and more at MySpace.com




Get this video and more at MySpace.com