Happy Birthday Hot Chocolate

If you missed Matt's b-day this week, be sure to come over to Hi-Tops tomorrow night and wish him a happy 2-7. Who knows, he may get so drunk that you'll see him run around the neighborhood in his b-day suit.

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Pushpop Gets Down

So Pushpop emails me today to let me know that he can't play volleyball tonight because he hyperextended his knee at soccer last night. Of course I am cynical as to the legitimacy of this excuse. But then, my good friend Manderson supplies the video proof of how Pushpop probably really hurt his knee. Check out mini Little Richard toward the back right as well!

It's the Halloweiner's Ball? But what should I wear?

(Editors note: I can't really get over how awesome that video Ryan posted is. I have now watched it at least 4 times and it keeps getting better. I start laughing just talking about it. If you haven't taken the time to enjoy it, you really need to. Do it now, go ahead, I'll wait... [whistling, quietly to myself] ... Ok? See, I wasn't lying. At this point anything I write will be a let down so come back and read this tomorrow.)

The Halloweiner's Ball can be a stressful time in the life of a young adult. For some, the thought of what to be on Halloween begins as soon as the wigs come off after the previous year's party. For others donning the same mask as the year before will have to do. Still others will have the decision made for them (and they, my friends, will feel lucky to have avoided the head scratching that goes into an excellent costume, but we will also feel a little sad for them as well).

No matter who you are, we all have to ask ourselves questions. Couples wonder "Should we be the plug and socket, or the ketchup and mustard?!?" A fight is guaranteed to ensue.

The ladies wonder "Should I go as a slutty nurse, a slutty vampire, or maybe I should be a slutty garbage man?" Ladies, the answer is, go with your gut, as long as its slutty, we all win. The slutty possibilities are endless.

Others go for the group affair, but what group costume is the one that is going to have people screaming at you on the streets as you strut your costumed stuff. This list of tips will hopefully help you get through the Halloween blues and on the to Halloweiner's Ball orange and blacks (whatever that means).

1. Anything from the 70's, 80's, or 90's even is always funny. The nostalgia factor is huge even for stuff that happened before we were born. See the Village People costumes.

2. Most store bought costumes are lame unless they are made for a child and you are not child-sized.

3 Self-depreciation is always funny. (Like Bitchsauce dressing up as a bachelorette a couple of years ago. This was actually a damn good costume because it was embarrassing and relevant - we all see those broads all the time and most are not even as good looking as Mike. A group of friends following him around would have really completed the package.)

4. Characters from current movies and TV shows are always winners, but it helps if most people have seen the movie.

5. People in the news is always good (a la Steve Bartman in 2003, that should be funny againin about 2010, not because it is topical but because of nostalgia , but maybe earlier, my calculations might be a off. Or if the Cubs manage to win the world series before then it may become funny earlier but we all know that is not happening).

6. Group costumes make a crappy costume into Halloween gold. (One sperm is sort of funny, a whole flock of sperm (like more than 8) is hilarious, particularly if you all run around and bump into things repeatedly together)

7. Clever play on words references like a white plastic bag (white trash) or a cardboard box with razor's on it (shaved box) can be hit or miss so if you attempt to go this route, run it by some friends first.

8. Anything you have to explain will take the fun out of it so avoid this at all costs unless you get a huge laugh every time you explain it. Most likely, after you explain, people will say "Oh." and you will feel like a dick.

9. Don't be too cool for school - If you aren't going to dress up and you just bring a mask, stay home. At least put in a little effort and have the cloths match the mask.

10. Avoid masks in general. You always end up taking it off because you can't breath, drink, hear, talk or have fun in general. I see very little upside to a full head rubber mask. (As an aside, wigs, mustaches and face paint suck too but they are much much better than masks and without those, what are you left with? Nothing, that's what.)

11. The too big to move around a party can be tricky to pull off. Make sure you have what it takes before trying to pull off a kissing booth. It takes a certain kavorka to be able to go to a party, have to stand in a corner and still have fun. It has been done, but that guy was pretty impressive.

12. As I think I already alluded to - if you are a lady you can't go wrong with slutty. So all of you, guys included, let that slutty gene run free for at least one night.

I hope this is a help to some of you out there. Please feel free to add comments with your own tips. We are all here to help each other people, let's get into that Halloweiner's spirit.

COMING SOON - 5th Annual HALLOWEINER'S BALL 10/21/06 - Be there of be square.

Gaki no Tsukai

This is the Japanese version of 'Who's Got Shots' (Zombie shots). Not too sure about the point of this game. Something to do with these guys doing random things in a library, and not being allowed to make any noise. Either way, I cried I laughed so hard.

Hope Starts Here...

Hi everyone...it's Kathy here (aka Sake Teriyaki)
This year I am participating in the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk. Making Strides is a non-competitive five-mile walk that takes place in more than 100 cities across the country. Making Strides has no registration fee and no fundraising minimum, which means that more people can participate. This is a really great event, which I organized for my company, BearingPoint, last year.
If you're interested in making a donation or even perhaps walking with the BearingPoint team on Sunday, October 15th, please let me know, or...

Click here to visit my personal page.
If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?px=1151287&pg=personal&fr_id=2211&s_tafId=4978

Thanks so much in advance for your support!

The Boob is getting saggy - Happy Birthday!

If you see two boobs today, then you're probably having a pretty good day. If you see only one Boob, then its probably Kirk, and you should wish him a happy birthday.

Boob's Review

As a new feature on The Fremonteer - Halloweiner's I think I will review a crappy, yet not a crappy as you would think, movie.

Last night while signing my name to the sincerely written and well thought out thank you notes The First Boob wrote, I decided to get The Fantastic Four on demand and I have to say I was surprised by how not crappy this movie was.

First of all here is a plot summary taken from imdb.com (a great site for all things movies):

"When an experimental space voyage goes awry, four people are changed by cosmic rays. Reed Richards, inventor and leader of the group gains the ability to stretch his body, and takes the name, Mr. Fantastic. His girlfriend, Sue Storm, gains the ability to turn invisible and create force fields, calling herself the Invisible Woman. Her younger brother Johnny Storm gains the ability to control fire, including covering his own body with flame, becoming the Human Torch. Pilot Ben Grimm is turned into a super-strong rock creature calling himself Thing. Together, they use their unique powers to explore the strange aspects of the world, and to foil the evil plans of Doctor Doom." Dr. Doom is Richard's old college roommate, Victor Von Doom, who is also on the voyage and whose body turns into metal from the cosmic rays. He also gets some other powers which turn him into a super villian.

Sounds exciting, doesn't it? I won't spoil the end for you but the good guys win, shocker!

I like the actors they used in the movie. First of all, two FX show stars play major parts in this movie. The guy from Nip/Tuck (which I have never watched besides the first episode of this season) who had the three-some with the mom and daughter team, plays the bad guy, Dr. Doom. He is a particularly bad actor and he looks like his face is made of plastic and his eyebrows are drawn on with a sharpie (these eyebrows are freakish... this is easily the most disturbing this about this guy and he is generally very strange looking), all of which added to the movie instead of made it worse in a weird way. Also, the Commish (from the Shield) plays the Thing. I am surprised Dennis Leary didn't show up to do some swearing and some smoking just to round out the package. The other thing is that Jessica Alba looks incredible throughout the whole movie and gets close to naked at one point (but not as close as you might like). I could take or leave the rest of them.

The movie itself was pretty good; not as good as any of the X-men movies, but better than the Batman when they decided to put nipples on the batsuit (the one with Swartzenegger as Mr. Freeze). One of the cool things about this movie though is that there was a Fantastic Four movie made by the same producer in 1994 which was apparently so horrible and cheaply done that the rumor is that they never intended to release it. They just needed to get something done so the guy wouldn't lose his rights so they hired all these people (actors, key grips, etc.) and never told anyone it was all bull. One cool thing is that Bug from Uncle Buck plays the Human Torch in that movie (look at the picture). Or maybe that's not cool - I don't know, but I thought it was.

Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think I would recommend this movie to anyone besides Eric who loves all superhero movies, no matter how crappy, particularly if the movie stars a black guy (his favorite movie is Blade...seriously). Even though I don't recommend it for others, unless you are really bored and it comes on HBO I enjoyed watching it so I give it a full rack - two boobs up!

Welcome aboard: In-flight announcements are not entirely truthful. What might an honest one sound like?

“GOOD morning, ladies and gentlemen. We are delighted to welcome you aboard Veritas Airways, the airline that tells it like it is. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is upright and your tray-table is stowed. At Veritas Airways, your safety is our first priority. Actually, that is not quite true: if it were, our seats would be rear-facing, like those in military aircraft, since they are safer in the event of an emergency landing. But then hardly anybody would buy our tickets and we would go bust.

The flight attendants are now pointing out the emergency exits. This is the part of the announcement that you might want to pay attention to. So stop your sudoku for a minute and listen: knowing in advance where the exits are makes a dramatic difference to your chances of survival if we have to evacuate the aircraft. Also, please keep your seat belt fastened when seated, even if the seat-belt light is not illuminated. This is to protect you from the risk of clear-air turbulence, a rare but extremely nasty form of disturbance that can cause severe injury. Imagine the heavy food trolleys jumping into the air and bashing into the overhead lockers, and you will have some idea of how nasty it can be. We don't want to scare you. Still, keep that seat belt fastened all the same.


Your life-jacket can be found under your seat, but please do not remove it now. In fact, do not bother to look for it at all. In the event of a landing on water, an unprecedented miracle will have occurred, because in the history of aviation the number of wide-bodied aircraft that have made successful landings on water is zero. This aircraft is equipped with inflatable slides that detach to form life rafts, not that it makes any difference. Please remove high-heeled shoes before using the slides. We might as well add that space helmets and anti-gravity belts should also be removed, since even to mention the use of the slides as rafts is to enter the realm of science fiction.

Please switch off all mobile phones, since they can interfere with the aircraft's navigation systems. At least, that's what you've always been told. The real reason to switch them off is because they interfere with mobile networks on the ground, but somehow that doesn't sound quite so good. On most flights a few mobile phones are left on by mistake, so if they were really dangerous we would not allow them on board at all, if you think about it. We will have to come clean about this next year, when we introduce in-flight calling across the Veritas fleet. At that point the prospect of taking a cut of the sky-high calling charges will miraculously cause our safety concerns about mobile phones to evaporate.

On channel 11 of our in-flight entertainment system you will find a video consisting of abstract imagery and a new-age soundtrack, with a voice-over explaining some exercises you can do to reduce the risk of deep-vein thrombosis. We are aware that this video is tedious, but it is not meant to be fun. It is meant to limit our liability in the event of lawsuits.

Once we have reached cruising altitude you will be offered a light meal and a choice of beverages—a word that sounds so much better than just saying ‘drinks’, don't you think? The purpose of these refreshments is partly to keep you in your seats where you cannot do yourselves or anyone else any harm. Please consume alcohol in moderate quantities so that you become mildly sedated but not rowdy. That said, we can always turn the cabin air-quality down a notch or two to help ensure that you are sufficiently drowsy.

After take-off, the most dangerous part of the flight, the captain will say a few words that will either be so quiet that you will not be able to hear them, or so loud that they could wake the dead. So please sit back, relax and enjoy the flight. We appreciate that you have a choice of airlines and we thank you for choosing Veritas, a member of an incomprehensible alliance of obscure foreign outfits, most of which you have never heard of. Cabin crew, please make sure we have remembered to close the doors. Sorry, I mean: ‘Doors to automatic and cross-check’. Thank you for flying Veritas.”

True story

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl whose uncle had this happen to him. We will call him Frank. So Frank has a wife, and for the purposes of this story we will call her Janeen.

Last Saturday was Janeen's best friend's birthday. Janeen's best friend, Susan, wanted to have a crazy girl's night out for her birthday. Frank thought this wasn't a big deal and he agreed, glad to have some time alone. Maybe he would have some beers. Who knows, but he was going to enjoy his evening at home alone.

I'm guessing Janeen got herself all dolled up, and kissed her husband good night, telling him not to wait up. Frank probably ordered a pizza and sat down to enjoy his night, which I am sure he did.

Around 3:15 Sunday morning, Frank, fast asleep in bed wakes up to hear Janeen stumble into the house. Even though it is late, and she is clearly lit, Frank is glad Janeen is home and drifts back off to sleep not letting Janeen know that he even woke up.

Frank wakes up bright and early the next morning, and it is a beautiful sunny day. I'm betting Frank is feeling good about himself. He's glad his wife blew off some steam the night before. Frank goes outside to get the morning paper and saunters to the end of the driveway. I imagine he was wearing his robe, maybe drinking a mug of coffee. He bends over to pick up the paper, which is a little difficult with one hand holding the mug because the Sunday edition is always a biggie, but Frank manages.

As he is walking back up the drive Frank sees the family Volvo, which Janeen drove last night. With the condition she came home in last night, he is glad it all in one piece.

But something is wrong!... What?... What's that on the hood?...

Photos from our wedding

Thanks to everyone who came to our wedding. We had a great time and we hope you did too.

My mom set up an account at www.winkflash.com so everyone can upload all their photos from our wedding to the same place. The login is "kirkandmarissa" and the password is "buckley" - yes I know that is cheesy but my mom set it up so what can I do.

Marissa and I would really appreciate it if you would up-load your pictures, even if you don't have that many.


Again, we were really glad you could all be there.