Festivus

Since everyone seems to have the same common grievance (you know which one), I thought I'd throw a little reminder your way.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear! vol VI

Something a little different to top off our week.


Have a great Christmas everyone.

A Christmas Joke... sort of

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s,they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.""Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said "Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes - dead from the root up - and the balls are just for decoration."


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A Festivus for the Rest of Us

There hasn't been a lot of Festivus talk this year, but I am hoping someone volunteers to have a party this year. We will have to drag that old pole out of the crawl space or we can order one from the company mentioned in this article. I'm glad to see that there are a bunch of idiots who celebrate a made up TV holiday and will spend real money on a new aluminium pole. Any, my favorite part is the airing of grievances and I would like to start with a few thinks I want to say to you people:

1. Not nearly enough drinking on everyone's part in the last year. Jelly can't be expected to carry the load for us all.

2. The lack of apartment parties. I haven't layed on a pile of everyone's coats and snapped idiotic pictures in ages.

3. There hasn't been nearly the level of comments that I would have hoped in the past few months on the Fremonteer.

4. The weather in Chicago in the winter sucks.

5. Nobody has given me a gift since my wedding.

6. I can;t even remember that last time Eric got in a fight with a random person.

That is all for now. Merry Christmas and a Happy Festivus.

See you all at the Festivus party at Mike and Ryan's tomorrow 4pm. (Subject to the approval of the committee to throw a Festivus party at Mike and Ryan's)

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear! vol V

Attractive girl + Cheezy xmas song = pure entertainment

In the spirit of Christmas

Since I know none of you watch Saturday Night Live and I was probably the only one who was watching it on Saturday night I can assume none of you have seen this. It is pretty funny and informative. Now I know what to give Marissa for Christmas.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear! vol IV

Ladies, keep your bras on. Its the King...and its Christmas.

Thank Goodness?

Miss America wasn't dethroned today. Here is the riveting article. I guess we won't be seeing her in the March issue of Playboy. We will probably have to wait until 2009 for that one. For now you'll have to make due with this picture.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear! vol III

Nothing screams holidays with the family more than a little George Michael and his beloved Wham.


Also, if you haven't watched that Mariah Carey video from Sunday's post yet, I highly recommend it. It's quite entertaining.

Happy Hanukkah

Very Interesting

I don't know if this is of interest to anyone, but these are things I think you should know about. Apparently Miss America is being dethroned due to, among other things, making out with Miss Teen USA who is her roommate in a Manhattan penthouse. This is an article detailing the issue. And here are a couple of pictures of both of them together.

Now why would they fire a girl for kissing another girl? I just don't know.

Merry Christmas!

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear! vol II

Today, we'll celebrate the holidays with a little love from the Boss.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear! vol 1

I know you all really want to watch this, so now I'm giving you an excuse so you dont feel uncomfortable. You're welcome. By the way, Mariah looks really really good here. I'm creating a mandatory dress-code starting now for anyone I date to wear these white boots at all times.



This week, I will be posting one cheezy Holiday related video to the Fremonteer every day, so be sure to check back. Also, feel free to let me know if you think this is dumb because I will most-likely not take that into consideration one bit. Happy Holidays you crazy kids.

Exclusive Footage

Somebody must have snuck a hidden camera into Jelly's room in order to get this exclusive footage.

See for yourself.


Courtesy of manderson

Crazy Tie and Moustache Day

Not sure if anyone is aware, but today is national "Crazy Tie and Moustache Day". (we're allowed to invent holidays if you have a blog, right?) Anyway, check out these crazy guys and their crazy ties and crazy moustaches!

Links of the Day

1. Peter Boyle (the dad from Everybody Loves Raymond) died last night. Sad because he was funny, but not necessarily big news, he was old and yelled a lot. The crazy thing was that his best man at his wedding was John Lennon. How weird is that? Imagine your best friend plays the grumpy old man on a popular sitcom. Imagine indeed.

2. Look at what this crazy mo-fo is doing to himself. Look at the list of names on the right. What a star studded cast. My personal favorites are Robbie Gould and Jason McKie.

Sorry

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like......................Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!


Ba dum dum....

WTF??? Pic of the day.

Are you scared of Santa?

These kids are. Although I can probably understand why. These are some of the creepiest looking 'Santas' I've ever seen (Check out #5...are they trying to permanently haunt this kid's brain?). I also see some serious future criminal activity coming from the kids that had to sit on the laps of Santas #7, 8, 9, and 15. Who's hiring these guys?

Pump Up the Jam

You know it, you love it, but have you seen the video for it. Check out the sweet effects, oh and don't miss the fanny pack.