Top 20 things I learned in Las Vegas:

1. Jaywalking is taken very, very seriously…but prostitution and gambling are conveniently overlooked

2. Some so-called “adults” in downtown Vegas not only do creepy things with $4 prime rib, but are also racist

3. Every time you roll craps, you get the numbers 3 and 4 (anytime but the first time that is)

4. Passion parties are a unique way of strengthening relationships, or encouraging female independence (Thought I wouldn’t be able to learn enough on this topic…I was wrong)

5. Bally’s security has no patience for completely insane and/or psychotic cute girls in the hot tub

6. Monorail is not cheap

7. Gambling is not cheap

8. The “Party Pit” (while it sounds like a good time) is a horrible, horrible place

9. You give me $100, I give you plastic beads and a free deck of cards = bad trade

10. The pedway into Caesar’s takes exactly 9 minutes and 37 seconds

11. Don’t order a Bloody Mary in the Bally’s breakfast diner

12. A lot of people named Terry work at Binion’s (one of them is an older man who is really into Black Sabbath)

13. The $5 shrimp cocktail at Golden Gate looks really bad (pretty much any food at that place makes you want to take a shower once you’re done eating)

14. Vegas briefs are surprisingly comfortable

15. Chris doesn’t know how to work an alarm clock

16. Kirk does in fact not like men

17. Mike lost his mojo

18. Scott vacations more than most retired couples

19. Eric doesn’t know how to pack

20. And don’t ever try and play gay chicken with Matt. You may find yourself in a very awkward situation