Hello..... Is there anybody there?

As those of you who are loyal readers and not going have probably guessed, a majority of us are going to Fremont, WI this weekend for some fun in the sun (and maybe some pain in the rain, we'll just have to wait and see). There are a number of us who are on the road as I write this. That is a slightly depressing thought, knowing that I and many others have a full day of work in head of us. It is only slightly depressing because I know I will be joining them this evening. I can't wait to get up there and do a whole bunch of nothing.

I would also like to comment on the fact that the Fragrant Beer Farts had their first non-loss last night blazing to a tie with the number one team in the league carried by the bat of Chris "MVP" Scheuerman and the arm Phil "cy" Bellagamba along with some stellar defense.

Congratulations Farts. Next time we're gonna win.

Looking at that timer on the right saying 0-0-0-0 makes me sick.

Oh well, see you there.

Fremont weekend forecast

Looks like there might be rain but the temps are going to be high and we are looking good to go.
Forcast for Fremont, WI per weather.com:

Jun 30 Tomorrow
Some clouds and possibly an isolated thunderstorm in the afternoon. High near 85F. Winds SSW at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 30%.

Jun 30 Tomorrow night
Partly to mostly cloudy with a chance of thunderstorms. A few storms may be severe. Low 68F. Winds SSW at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 40%.

Jul 1 Saturday
A few thunderstorms possible. Highs in the low 80s and lows in the low 60s.

Jul 2 Sunday
Partly cloudy. Highs in the mid 80s and lows in the low 60s.

Jul 3 Monday
Times of sun and clouds. Highs in the mid 80s and lows in the low 60s.

Jul 4 Tuesday
More sun than clouds. Highs in the low 80s and lows in the upper 50s.

Tomorrow!!!!

This is how I felt when I found out I was going to Fremont again this year for the 4th.







Yessssssss!

Fremont FYI

Thanks to everyone for getting back to me to let me know when you will be coming and going to Fremont. Since we only have one full day until some of us leave for the sandy shores of the Wolf River here is a breakdown of what you can expect to pay for your lodging while you are in Fremont.

This amount is based on $22 per person per room, which as far as I can tell is how it will work out for us. This does not include tax, the price of the boat rental or food or beer so for those of you who haven't been to Fremont before I would plan on at least another $100 per person and probably more once we get to the drinking (not even including bar drinking).

I only mention this because we have to pay for the rooms and boats in cash at the end of the weekend and it is a pain to cruise down to the ATM on the morning that you are planning on leaving.

You can also get a good idea of how many people will be staying each night. Don't forget to bring towels either.

See you there. As always - be there or be square!

Who's that Happy Guy #3?

In this week's edition we have a special "who are those happy guys?"

We know why they're happy. They are on hogs in front of the El Rancho, but the question is - who are they?

Correct answers by those actually in the picture will only be rewarded if they are completely correct and in the proper order. Guesses by those who are not in the picture will be judged on correctness of answer and correctly putting them in order.

This is a tough one so the winner will get a handshake and a beer from me in Fremont along with their free Fremonteers subscription. Lets take a shot here people and see who can do the best.

Last weeks answer: Britney Spears

Sorry no winners again. Thanks for playing. Better luck this week.

"Your jeweled t-back Victoria's Secret thong is on it's way!"

So, I'm sitting in a meeting reviewing a PowerPoint presentation deck with a team member of mine and 2 people from another team (who are also BearingPoint employess). All are dudes. As we are looking at the slides, all of a sudden my Google Talk email notification pops up to inform me of my Victoria's Secret Shipment Confirmation. I'm sure the 3 guys I work with are relieved that I am finally now receieving my back-ordered jeweled t-back thong!

I didn't really order a jeweled t-back thong but, if I did, I would have loved for my co-workers to know that.

Just thought everyone would be able to get a chuckle out of that. Sorry-it's not as funny as Ryan's movie.

Happy 3 Days 'Till Fremont!

3 Days

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=1406157

Fremont River Days!!!

Is this reason enough to stay an extra 4 nights?!?!

http://www.fremontwis.com/

A new study suggests...

"Men with older brothers more likely to be gay"

According to the logic of this article, here is the order of who is most gay (I am not sure how many older brothers some of you have so if I am incorrect, please correct the order in your comments):

Most Gay
Tim - 2 older brothers

Gay
Eric - 1 older brother
Matt John - 1
Mark - 1
Phil M. - 1

Probably Gay
Paulie 3 Sheets - 1/2 older brother (I'm not sure how it works with twins)

Not Gay
Chris - 0 older brothers
Ryan - 0
Mike - 0
Scott - 0
Matt T - 0
Justin - 0
Dave P - 0

Clearly not gay no matter how many older brothers he has. It could be a gazillion-trillion older brothers and he would still love the ladies.
Kirk - 1 older brother

That's how I see it. If I'm wrong... Prove it.

Weekly ridiculous toy collection

Check out this jackass...This guy has got to be the biggest dork in the universe:

http://adctalk.com/index.php?showtopic=1999567&st=0

Weekly Ridiculous Toy!

Introducing the Beer Belly!

Brilliant, no more $6.00 beers for me. I will be drinking my beers commando style. I just hope nobody notices the giant straw sticking out of my shirt.

Sadly the Beer Belly is currently on back order, but just wait till they get more in. You are going to see me and say, "Man, you have put on a lot of weight!" and I will just give you a wink and you will know that its all about the Beer Belly.

(I have to say, as much as I like this thing that is a super gay picture for such a manly product.)

Who's that Happy Guy #2

It's time once again for everybody's favorite weekly game - Who's that Happy Guy?

Again the rules are the same as last week - to the left we have a photo of one happy guy, now we all guess who this happy ass-hole is.

This week the photo is a little trickier than last week.

You may be asking yourself: Are those moobs or boobs under that stylish coconut bra? Have I been to that hotel? Is that Fremont?I've been to the beach, wait that's not me is it?

Figure out the answers to those questions and make your guess.

As with last week the first correct response will be rewarded with a one year subscription to "The Fremonteer". Those of you who guess incorrectly will be awarded a free one month subscription to the Fremonteer. Those of you who don't guess will have your Fremonteer priviledges revoked immediately. So have at it friends.

Last weeks answer: Sammy Sosa (in his post steroid era)

Here's a Tip...

As those of you who went out for dinner Saturday night know, if you plan on having any sort of productive Sunday, you are doing yourself a favor by staying away from Fernando's margaritas.

I don't know exactly what they put into those things, but from what Mike and I deduced, we are pretty sure that it is a mixture of tequila, sour mix and 91 octane premium gasoline. I told myself I wouldn't have more than one because I have been a victim of the citrus dragon before, however I failed to heed my own warning and drank anywhere from 2 to 9 Gasoritas, depending on whose count you believe. The exact number, however, is not important; what is important is that those things get you loopy in a hurry.

I know, I know, you're saying to yourself, Kirk, isn't that a good thing? And yes "loopy in a hurry" is usually a good thing but these are no normal drinks. Mike said he thinks the tequila got stuck to his soul. That is the type of thing that can happen when you are not careful. You don't want any sort of booze stuck to your soul, let alone tequila, therefore I am pleading with all of you that if you ever run into a Gasorita, drink it... but say no to its friends, they are not your amigos.

Or not, I don't care, drink 50 of them. All I'm trying to say is I had a fun time on Saturday. Long live Lang's.


P.S. - I actually watched about 10 minutes of the Rock, Scissors, Paper Championship on Saturday morning and it was as ridiculous and awesome as I hoped.

Wonderful things are in Fremont.

Check it out: http://www.horseville.com/horses/horse074967.html

Think we can add it onto the red snapper mortgage?

Louisville Sucks.

I went to Louisville this weekend. It was horrible. Louisville sucks. Why is Kentucky a state?

Two Weeks to Fremont: Random Thoughts

I thought that I should write about some random thoughts I am having about Fremont now that we are only two weeks away. TWO WEEKS people! ... and apparently my biggest concern right now is what the hell are we going to look forward to after Fremont.

After Marissa punches me in the spleen I am reminded that our wedding is coming up in September so we have that going for us, and we have a bachelor and bachelorette party in the coming weeks and it is summer in Chicago which is far and away the best time of the year and so on an so forth. But anyways lets not get ahead of ourselves about what we will have to look forward to and concentrate on how great a trip this will be. While I contemplate my last summer of freedom here is what we will be up to in Fremont

- Consider that we have five of the seven cabins rented and the other two are rented by people who specifically asked if we would be there because we were such a great time last year I don't think we will have too much problem having fun.

- Who will be this year's cowboy hat wearing, hard drinking, swearing, obnoxious, pile of fun that was Ben Pucci last year?

- Can we put enough people on that pontoon boat to sink it? And if so, why would we even try to do that?

- Is this the year we finally have a run-in with the Fremont law? I'm betting no.

- Who the hell is actually coming on this trip? By my count it is anywhere from 2 to 94 people.

- How can I convince people that a tuxedo IS something you save up for?

- I'm really looking forward to watching Matt T. pilot that pontoon with the "I am man because I drive a boat" look on his face.

- How many 30 packs of beer can we drink and will anyone bother to count? Mike, I am specifically looking at you, buddy.

- I love eating food that was cooked on a grill.

- I am hopefully going to get a tour of the Red Snapper as a prospective buyer. It's so cheap it's almost an impulse buy - "Pack of gum? sure... $80,000 apartment building? Why not."

- I hope the weather is as nice as the last two years, and I hope the water level is a little higher so I don't have to stoop to cool off.

- I wonder what will get lost in the water this year? Sunglasses, phone, dignity? Who knows?

- Two years and counting on not seeing the webfooters. I'm guessing that streak stay alive.

- Ryan better put together a sweet fireworks mix for the show on Sunday.

- Who will win the back slap match? I'm going to say no one wins that game.

- I can't wait to stop at a cheese store and get some cheese, for some reason it is better when it comes in a bag with summer sausages. (Yes I thought about that last line before I wrote it but I don't care about the dirty things you can say about "summer sausages", they are good with cheese)

- I hope they finished putting the deck on the cabin we are renting, a deck just makes everything a little bit sweeter.

- This year I will catch a fish or maybe I'll just wear the vest.

For all these random thoughts, I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Happy Birthday!

Today’s birthday shout-out goes to our very own Katherine Eunkyung Chun who turns the big 2-7 today. If you see Kathy today, wish her a happy birthday.

The lost flip flop

You will not believe what happened this morning. So I'm walking up the stairs to the el platform at Fullerton and this girl steps on my flip flop. I get a little shaken up and in slow motion I watch my flip flop fall down the platform into no man's land where lost sunglasses, hats, old transit cards, solo shoes etc end up. I stood there in shock like I can't believe that had just happened and looked at the girl. I thought what am I to do? Those are the only shoes I had on me since I leave my work shoes at work. Then the fear struck....am I going to have to take the el with only one shoe and the other bare foot? Man I gave her a look, and she also saw that the flip flop was not on my foot nor on the platform. It had disappeared. She then looked at me as I was still in disbelief and went on her merry way. grr!

Lucklily Adam acted fast and miracoulsy found a CTA worker to unlock the key to the gate of the unknown. A few minutes later I had my gold old navy flop. Needless to say I felt like I had just witnessed a hit and run. The girl clearly stepped on my foot and what does she do? Looks at what she did and kept going. Can you believe that?

Well it got me a little p.o'ed this morning but thank goodness Adam was there to the rescue. I honestly don't know what I would have done. Can you even imagine walking around with one flip on?

Our Weekly Ridiculous Toy!

The Shotgun -


Have you ever said to yourself:

"It is too hard to shotgun a beer when all I have is this little old key, I wish someone somewhere would make it easier!!"

Well wait no further my friends, because this week's handy gadget does just that. It is a special opener made just for opening a beer... shot gun style.

But why stop there, aren't you annoyed with opening your cans of tomato soup the old fashioned way? Why not just order the Shotgun and get that soup into your belly in no time flat, who needs warm soup anyways? Losers, that's who.

Click here to enter the amazing world of the Shotgun Party! I'll see you there.

Who's that Happy Guy?

Here is a new game at the Fremonteer I like to call "Who's that Happy Guy?"

The rules are simple - to the left we have a photo of one happy ass guy, now we all guess who this happy ass-hole is.

Many of you know this man. He may be your friend. He may be an aqaintence. You may have been at this party. You may have taken this photo. You may be him. What is your guess?

The first correct response will be rewarded with a one year subscription to "The Fremonteer".

Those of you who guess will guess incorrectly will be awarded a free one month subscription to the Fremonteer.

Those of you who don't guess will have your Fremonteer priviledges revoked immediately.

So have at it friends.

Special shout out to Nick Reget and the General Nonsense blog as the inspiration for this game.

Are you ready to Ro Sham Boeeeeeeeeeeee?

If this clip doesn't make you want to watch the Rock Paper Scissors championship on A&E tonight then you might be dead.

I love the fire shooting out of the hand when paper covers rock. I guess that's why some of the players wear driving gloves.

Fremont Fun Facts

• The Village of Fremont population of 750 grows by 1000's during the spring months and is commonly known as the "White Bass Capitol of the World.

• You are guaranteed to fight at least once with you spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend while vacationing in Fremont.

• The Wolf River flows through the middle of the community and has provided a life support system to Fremont’s residents since the logging and clamming days.

• A man on a trip to Fremont once sank eleven free-throws in a row. Can you believe it… Eleven!

• Once the center for the button making operations, the west bank has the "downtown" district with many fine eating establishments, stores, the Village Hall, Library, Post Office and residences. The east bank has a boat dealer, resorts and residences.

• The cash machines in Fremont operate on a dial-up connection and charge a $1.50 usage fee.

• In addition to the outstanding fishing, The river is used for boating, drinking, water skiing, drinking, personal watercraft, swimming and drinking. Snowmobiling, hunting, bird watching and grass smoking are also popular.

• If you listen carefully on certain nights, you can hear the majestic mating call of the Horned Drunken Estela. Cover your ears ladies, or you may succumb to the temptation.

• Historic Fremont on the Wolf River, was the crossing point for settlers going west. Eventually the area itself was settled and incorporated in March 1882. It became the home for dairy farmers that still remain in the area supplying milk for the area's cheese factories.

• The Fremont area has cheese factories.

• The mighty Wolf River was the highway for millions of logs floating down to lumber and paper mills. The expansion of the railroad opened up the abundant river banks to 'Clammers' who supplied the town's two button factories with shells in the early 1900's. Paddlewheel steamers such as the "Dixie" and "Paul L." brought city-weary folks from Oshkosh for a Sunday outing to Fremont.

• People who collect clams from the banks of the Wolf River are known as “Clammers”.

• The river of dreams has seen many generations of fishermen return for the May madness, which still makes Fremont the "White Bass Capitol of The World". The pristine waters host a healthy walleye population making the early spring run an exciting time for anglers. Early summer offers Bass enthusiasts excellent back waters and sloughs for large and small mouth species. The fishing never ends. Channel Catfish and other varieties are plentiful through the summer months. White Bass and Walleye again entice the weather-hearty angler for a fall run back to their wintering areas. To round out the year, Fremont’s bayous and lakes offer good pan fish and Northern Pike for the ice fishing fans.

• Apparently the Wolf River is known as “The River of Dreams.”

• Fremont is home to two diners, one on each end of town on Fremont Dr. One has a two pound burger known as the Marilyn Monroe Burger. If eaten at one sitting the glutton is given a certificate for one dozen free doughnuts.

• Although many of its residents speak with a strong Canadian accent, Fremont is a city in America, not Canada.

Cheezy 80's movie trailer anyone?

First Annual Fremont Scavenger Hunt

Items to be Scavanged:

1. Cut-Offs (points awarded on .5 to 150 scale based on shortness, frayedness, and all around awesomeness):
One pair of worn, blue jeans cut-offs (extra points if harvested from a neighboring boat on the sand bar in Partridge lake) (extra-extra points if harvested while subject cut-offs are still being worn) (extra-extra-extra points if harvested from a dude who is built like a pregnant lady).

2. Breathalyzer Test (3 points):
Get a breathalyzer test registering your drunkatude following a night of drinking and carousing; follow-up test with complaints about how you are clearly drunker than the stupid numbers are showing.

3. Fremont Avenue 4th of July Parade (0 points, this is your civic duty as an American / points awarded however based on degree of nudity and unnecessary loudness):
Following Breathalyzer Test perform Fremont Avenue Parade, waving flags and celebrating our country. Nudity optional as noted above.

4. Canadian Flag Tattoo (Temporary: 1 point / Real: 15 points):
Get a giant Canadian flag tattoo on your calf to match our wonderful host’s tat. Show Mrs. Marston tattoo and request free room because you two are like twins, eh!

5. Bathroom Door (a hug from Celine):
Ensure each cabin has a fully working floor to ceiling door installed on the bathroom. Such activity will ensure everyone can enjoy “cooling off” in peace.

6. Cool Off in Partridge Lake (2 points):
Hop in the water up to your waist to cover your shame and enjoy a nice pee surrounded by friends and onlookers.

7. 2lb Marilyn Monroe Burger (8 points):
Entire burger must be transported from restaurant inside stomach. Chewed burger may not be carried in pants pockets.

8. Web Footer (-5 points):
Entice member of the Web Footers to come to Wolf Ridge Cottages to convince at least five Fremonteers (besides Carrie P.) to watch Web Footers in action.

9. 30 pack Busch Light (1/5 point per can):
This is just good common sense people.

10. Red Snapper (37 points):
Hooking the elusive Red Snapper guarantees victory for this hunt. Possession of the deed is required, so closing must occur prior to victory.

11. Mark’s stash (0 points, this is its own reward):
He’s wily so pretend you want to have a look at his tape collection and snag it while he struggles with the zipper.

12. Join Fremont Fire Department (Tim C.: 0 points / Anyone else: 10 points):
The Fire Dept. force is entirely volunteer. They are located on Waupaca Street. Come on everybody, lets help this little town out.

Please feel free to comment and add additional items to the list, as your input is valuable to creating a truly great hunt.

HELP SUPPORT CHICAGO CARES!!!

Sponsor team Chun/Cavanaugh!

Hi, folks. I know we are used to seeing posts about drinking, Fremont, The FBFs, etc. On a more serious note, Ryan and I are volunteering with Chicago Cares on June 10 at the 13th Annual Serve-a-thon. We'll be doing stuff like clean up and rehab of Chicago schools, parks and community service organizations. If you guys are in the city and also "pheeling philanthropic" please feel free to join us (although registration closes TOMORROW [June 2]). www.chicagocares.org

If you are "pheeling philanthropic" but not up for volunteering, please consider making a donation to team Chun/Cavanaugh. Our goal is to raise $250 for Chicago Cares. Just so you know where your money is going, the Serve-a-Thon is pretty much the largest money-raising event for Chicago Cares and allows them to continue thier programs.

Thank you for your time reading this and for your consideration and support etc. etc.

All donations must be in by June 10.

All gifts to Chicago Cares are tax-deductible to the extent allowed by law.
Follow This Link to visit Kathy's page (and a link to the team Chun/Cavanaugh page)

If the link above doesn't work, copy and paste the following into your browser: http://chicagocares.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=169051&u=169051-131924267&e=626798633

THANKS AGAIN!!!