Ryan “Pumped” for trip to Fremont

[this post has been edited due to concerns of certain members]

WRIGLEYVILLE – Ryan is reportedly “pumped” for his trip to Fremont, WI this summer. Ryan intends to take his trip over the 4th of July weekend to, as he puts it, “get with some real Americans to celebrate the birth of our great nation.” Although, Fremont is crawling with Canadians, which is not to diminish Ryan’s point.

He plans to begin his trip with a Roman Candle salute before dawn on Friday the 30th. He will follow this tribute up with 17 smiles and two bottles of blowing bubbles during the 3 hour drive to Fremont. Upon arrival Ryan will pound an additional 30 glasses of water and a fifth of lemonade before noon. Ryan then intends to lay out on the pier and enjoy the summer sun.

The rest of his celebration to America will hopefully consist of a blurry haze of laughs and tickles and it can only be assumed numerous hugs with friends. Ryan was excited to say “This is going to be the best 4th of July ever!”