Cubs trade Hairston to Rangers for Phil Nevin

(this is not a sports blog except I thought that all you Cubs fans out there who are loyal Fremonteer readers would appreciate a story about your team and all you sox fans could enjoy the futility)

Oh Jerry, we hardly knew yee... however, he is gone and now the only remnants of Sammy Sosa, a 36 year old washed up, oft injured, salary drain because of his giant contract, likely steroid user that struck out too much and fell off a cliff production-wise when the steroids testing started, is Phil Nevin, a 35 year old washed up, oft injured, salary drain because of his giant contract, steroid user that strikes out too much and fell off a cliff production-wise when the steroids testing started. Click for Story

For an in depth analysis, lets see the conversation Eric and I had when we heard the news:

Eric: Cubs just traded Hairston for Phil Nevin

me: really? that is very interesting, a first basemen hm?... he has been shitty for the past month so that sounds about right for the Cubs, maybe a move to Wrigley will be good for him

Eric: Yeah, i don't know what their intent with him is. They could use Nevin as their first baseman against left-handers until Derrek Lee comes back, which is probably the best choice. Or, they could make Nevin a regular and put Todd Walker back at second. While getting Tony Womack out of the lineup is rarely a bad thing, that would weaken the defense without really upgrading the offense. Womack might actually hit righties better than Nevin. Once Derrek Lee comes back, he wouldn't be more than a pinch-hitter after Lee returns.

me: Like you said, he probably won't help much, but he can't hurt since the Cubs suck hard anyways.

Eric: Kind of like tits on a boar?

me: exactly

There you have it. The Cubs have just traded for "tits on a boar." However, Nevin might go on to hit many home-runs and lead the charge of the Cubs into the play-offs and into the World Series, which there was no chance of Jerry Hairston doing so therefore, good trade Jim Hendry. Good thing the Cubs don' t need a pitcher. Oh wait...

How could U of I not beat the 35 point spread...?

Sorry about the lack of posting, here's a little something to tide you over:

This picture is from when Eric, Scott, Phil M. and I went to the U of I / OSU football game in Columbus, Ohio last fall. We spent the whole day drinking and went to the game after halftime.

Mind you that during game-time in Columbus NO ONE is in the concourse, it is like being in the hallway in church during the service. It is highly frowned upon by the locals.

This picture was taken when were were wandering around the entire stadium after entering from the opposite entrance. We were merely looking for our seats and asked this nice young lady to help us and maybe take a picture with us. This is the result:

I'm guessing she would have punched me in the side of the head if I had gotten any closer, but the picture obviously turned out to be well worth the danger.

Still haven't found our seats:

Finally, found them at about the start of the 4th quarter with Illinois down by about 30. Look how happy we were:

We left approximately 4 1/2 minutes later following another OSU touchdown... good times.

Weekly column: The Idiot's Guide to Dancing Like an Idiot Vol. II

Today’s dance: “Upwards Fist, Pump with a Twist!"

When human emotion is mixed with excitement while infused with the sweet sweat of alcohol, the only result can be one of pure idiotic dance...the Upwards Fist, Pump with a Twist. Often performed spontaneously without warning, nor an element required by most dances...music, this dance is sure to live well beyond its own legend. What do you get when you get mix an upwards flying fist with a pumping twist motion?.....Pure magic. Just ask Scott the "Rocket Pump" Roths who many say was the true Grandfather of this unique display of human awkwardness. Or Mike "make-it-happen, or get a slice of pizza" Matveychik who claims to perform an Upwards Fist, Pump with a Twist after every "encounter" with a lady friend.

Don't go anywhere you wannabe idiot's. Next week, we're doing something a little special. We'll take a look back at a few personal hot dance moves performed by our very own Eric Estela. Trust me, you won't want to miss...

Ryan “Pumped” for trip to Fremont

[this post has been edited due to concerns of certain members]

WRIGLEYVILLE – Ryan is reportedly “pumped” for his trip to Fremont, WI this summer. Ryan intends to take his trip over the 4th of July weekend to, as he puts it, “get with some real Americans to celebrate the birth of our great nation.” Although, Fremont is crawling with Canadians, which is not to diminish Ryan’s point.

He plans to begin his trip with a Roman Candle salute before dawn on Friday the 30th. He will follow this tribute up with 17 smiles and two bottles of blowing bubbles during the 3 hour drive to Fremont. Upon arrival Ryan will pound an additional 30 glasses of water and a fifth of lemonade before noon. Ryan then intends to lay out on the pier and enjoy the summer sun.

The rest of his celebration to America will hopefully consist of a blurry haze of laughs and tickles and it can only be assumed numerous hugs with friends. Ryan was excited to say “This is going to be the best 4th of July ever!”

Please give a warm welcome to the Chuggler.

I don't even know if there is anything I can say about this.

I guess this is necessary just in case you are drinking alone, having a good time enjoying a frosty brew and you feel the sudden need to bong the rest of your beer, then calmly fold the tube back up and continue on your day without having to hassel with drinking with "friends" who might hold a bong for you.

What a weird thing... who's up for keg stands?

Visit the Chuggler

E!'s Dr. 90210 beats up an old man!

Hilarious story about Dr. 90210 from E!.

I love that he referenced his black belt to say how instinct took over to help him restrain an 80 year old man.

I'm betting he did about 4 push-ups and 3 air karate kicks before he leapt into action. I hope he gave the old man a nice scrotum lift after he restrained him.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/23052006/2/entertainment-tv-s-dr-90210-fellow-passenger-restrain-man-airline.html

Cruzin Cooler Motorized Scooter-Cooler

Forget the "Aqua Roller", I've found a new toy for Fremont.

http://www.yachtsee.com/cruzincooler.htm

Random Observations

Nice right hook from Michael Barrett this afternoon. It was nice to actually see the players fighting on the field at comiskey for once.

Great moments in Q&A history, courtesy of the Playboy Advisor

Question:
My girlfriend gives great blow jobs and loves anal sex, but she won't let me give her oral. Although she is 35, she says she is saving that for marriage. She also claims she has never had vaginal intercourse. Is that possible? Whenever I attempt to go around the front, I get shut down. I would like to at least get a look at it. She is a Christian and sometimes even wears a dress to bed. She rolls it up so I can get to her ass. Should I be worried that she has issues?
-R.H., Birmingham, Alabama

Answer:
We'll put this as delicately as we can: You need a vagina to have vaginal intercourse.

Weekly column: The Idiot's Guide to Dancing Like an Idiot

Today, we’re launching a new segment entitled “The Idiot’s Guide to Dancing like an Idiot”. Each week, we’ll take you through the basic dance steps that have evolved from years of late night dance parties, all you can drink charity events, and open bar weddings. While not recognized by the American Academy of Dance, these timeless classics are sure to impress your friends, and get you on your way to developing your own personal idiot dance..

We’ll also discuss a brief history of each dance and some big names that continue to push the envelope with each new brilliant move they concoct.

Today’s dance: "Parallels"

With origins in the deep north (side), “Parallels” evolved from a simple dance pattern of swinging one’s arms and legs in a parallel motion… to a complex action of passing an invisible object back and forth between dancers through extremely complex parallel, and uni-paralell movements. Major players in the game today include Sarah “The Parallel-yzer” Young with her unthinkable toss & catch maneuver, along with Chris “Shoot-it-back” Scheuerman with his handy kick it back, throw it back 1-2 combo.

Stay tuned you crazy kids, and keep your dance shoes ready for next week's move, an instant classic the:

“Upwards Fist, Pump with a Twist!”

Fragrant Beer Farts Softball

An actual email transcript:

Eric: Softball... IS CANCELLED

Scott: Victory

Phil M.: Put me down for another 2 cycles. And I stole 4 bases. I know its illegal, but I did it anyway.

Scott: PRE-MERKLES PARTY AT PHIL's NEW PLACE TONIGHT.*

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

*above mentioned party subject to Phil's approval

Chris (2:14pm): PRE-PHIL'S PRE-MERKLES PARTY AT GOVNOR'S PUB IN 45 MINUTES

Phil M.: D@mmit!!!!!

Ryan: Ok Chris, getting a little out of hand here. We all know Govner's is closed. so......PRE-PHIL'S PRE-MERKLES PARTY AT ALIBI PIZZERIA IN 40 MINUTES!!

Phil M.: Cool with me. But there's no Couches or TV hooked up. Roth's, bring your Candyland game. That'll be great.

Kirk: Ok, so we put a barrel in the living room and stand around it like we used to do in high school. This is going to be great. Maybe we can have a bon-fire out on the front lawn.


A fine illustration of what we really care about, I think.

Here it is!

Obviously some renovations would need to take place. I envision a stoop and, of course, a new paint job.

Artist's rendering of the Red Snapper in Fremont, WI.

Our New Summer Home

You are losing money by not buying it!

At $89,900 we cannot afford not to buy this house. Three, two bedroom units for the price of a parking space in Chicago, this is a steal. (No shrimp for you this year Celine) And look, new windows and siding is included.

We would live like Kings (or Queens) and still be just a short walk away from our Canadian friends at Wolf Ridge. Plus apparently there is a good rental history so we can make a few bucks on the side. (sweet!)

With no money down we can still keep payments under $600 a month and property taxes can't be more than 10 cents a year. I'm good for $50 a month, so I need a few more investors. Who's with me?

http://www.livingchoices.com/home/homedetail.aspx?hid=535051173&refer=yahoo&mid=0460

Frday June 30th....

....I will step out of my car onto the gritty gravel of Wolf Ridge Cottages parking area, walk directly to the glorious machine created to help handicapped people down the steep steps

As I board this green metal device, I will not sit but I will stand with my arms outstretched like an eagle tattoo on a pale sun-deprived chest and I will press the silver button to release the brakes....

As I approach the bottom of the hill, I will for a split second wonder if it will actually stop, and then realize I was being foolish as it grinds to a halt.

...Stepping off the rollercoaster-like device I will not walk but will run to the end of that beautiful peer, as I am sure to avoid fish guts tossed aside by friendly drunken Canadians.

...When I near the end I will reach into the front pocket of my jeans and pull out the retched device that clients, coworkers, and family alike can not only call but send electronic messages to.......

And as I throw this devilish communication device into the cool flowing water of the Wolf River...I will be bellowing one simple word for all of Wisconsin to hear......FFRREEEEDDDOOMM!!!!!!!!

We truly do have very talented friends

"Disco Mongo" would like to have a dance, with YOU!!

http://a.muglets.com/10S9G-A

Or if you're looking for something a little more intense, how about a quick soccer match with Enrique.

http://a.muglets.com/10SC9-A

Bears Eat Monkey in Front of Zoo Visitors

A Sloth bear eats a Barbary macaque monkey at the Beekse Bergen Safari Park in Hilvarenbeek, south Netherlands on Sunday, May 14, 2006. Bears killed and ate a monkey in a Dutch zoo in front of horrified visitors, the zoo said Monday.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060516/ap_on_fe_st/netherlands_bear_eats_monkey

"Who's Got Shots" makes it to the movies

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=1203964

And check out coming attractions for the next feature film, "In Fremont, In Love"

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=1204175

Haiku for Fremont

Why should we go there?
It's NOT Merkle's or Key West
But it is still cool

We get on a boat
We drink and lay in the sun
Sometimes we "cool off"

Sturgeon, Pickerel
Shrimp, Crappie, and Bass, on my!
(No shrimp for Celine)

This is why we go

Who's Got Shots?? You tell me!

Pending
IPC POS DEBIT THE TRACE CHICAGO IL
$44.00
Pending
IPC POS DEBIT THE TRACE CHICAGO IL
$36.00
Pending
IPC POS DEBIT MERKLES CHICAGO IL
$28.80
Pending
IPC POS DEBIT SCHOOL YARD CHICAGO IL
$21.00
Pending
IPC POS DEBIT SCHOOL YARD CHICAGO IL
$18.60
Pending
IPC POS DEBIT SCHOOL YARD CHICAGO IL
$25.50

Fun at Trace

Who's Got Shots? The great new game for all the boys and girls. Looks like this guy wants to play first...










But seriously, a wonderful time was had by some for most of the time. I'm sure Eric and Kirk can attest to that.

Before

&

After

Thursday night Merkle's: Quote of the evening

From an undisclosed source (not me), following a brief conversation about transvestites,

"I may very well have had sex with a guy...I get pretty drunk sometimes".

Stay tuned for more...

Sutcliffe knows how to Party!

Hilarious article about Rick Sutcliffe with a little Bill Murray thrown in to boot. I have to assume he was bombed at the time. In his own words "I was not in optimum condition to go on live television." I'd say I have to agree with you, Ricker.

George Clooney up there in congress trying to solve all the problems in Africa. Classic.

And Bill Murray tackling Mark Bellhorn with a bear hug. He might as well hug a former Cubs Super Rope and Cotten Candy vendor for all the good Bellhorn did for the team. Priceless.

I just wish I could have gotten in on that day. Sounds like they had a good one.

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/2006-05-12-sutcliffe-interview_x.htm?csp=34

And here is a video of the whole interview.

This is how much we care about Fragrant Beer Farts softball!

Shawn (9:47am): What are the rules regarding cancellation due to rain? Will we know before our game, or will we show up and find out?

Eric (9:52am):The link doesn't say anything about make-ups. Unless God turns on his Industrial Size blow dryer, we are rained out. Mark that up as a W.

Kirk (9:53am): Agreed. Congratulations on a superb win gentlemen. See you at Merkles.

Phil M. (10:06am): What? Was it over when the Nazi's bombed Pearl Harbor??? I don't think the heavy stuff's gonna come down for a while... We need to play that f'n game! But if we're taking credit for a W, I hit for the cycle.... twice.

Shawn (10:10am): I think I got my first today as well, a grand slammer to put us up, what is it, 26 to 10. You should have seen it. I nailed it out of the park and into Kirk's windshield. That will teach you not to park so close when Shawn "the Bomber" Gnann is up at the plate. Seriously though, it's going to happen!

Kirk (2:54pm): If the game is rained out which I am assuming it is, who is going to practice tonight? I'll start...I'm in.

Phil M. (3:04pm): In...probably if I can take off my skirt and strap on a pair.

Shawn (3:09pm): I'm in. What time?

Chris (3:37pm): yes....i called the number and they said all softball is rained out. the game will be made up at some point, but they do not have that info yet. merkins away.... ["merkins" - hilarious http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin]

Phil M. (3:39pm): That's too bad. Guess Scott will have to save his Pink bat for next week.

The point - we're going to Merkles tonight for practice, and Phil can mock someone while still sucking at softball and saying he is probably in for practice. But sweet and topical pink bat reference by Phil all the same.

Pharmacist grad stunned!

Following her graduation from pharmacy school on Monday, Marissa was left to ponder the wild events of the proceeding weekend. A surprise party was thrown in honor of her graduation on Saturday (a special thank you to Sarah, Colleen and Adam for the decorations, and a thank you to Ryan, Bret, Eric, Kristen, Chris, Scott, Richie and Susan as well for being there for the surprise).

But the party thrown in her honor wasn't the only surprise Marissa got Sunday night. As she pole danced the night away in celebration, Eric "Nacho Libre" Estela leapt and flung his crazy legs around the pole and the young graduate Pharmacist in the process.

Marissa was quoted as saying "I was just doing like I usually do...you know when there is a pole in the room, I have to use it in my dancing... and wham, there's Eric, wrapped around the pole, lifting his shirt and getting freaky...it was wild."

Estela saw his opportunity and knew he had to take it. "I had been thinking about dancing on that pole all night. I was obsessed with it as soon as I stepped into the room. It was calling to me. There was something about it that made me know I had to get on it." Estela said.

Too many of Estela's friends wish they could be surprised by this sort of thing. "I can't say I was surprised, this is pretty standard procedure for him." Estela's former roommate Paul said. "It was really freaky." Scott said. He continued "I usually expect this sort of thing but I was a little blown away by all the grinding"

Not everyone was bothered by the freak-fest. Chris, a strange cat in his own right, said "I was just upset I didn't think of it. It was probably because it was Marissa up there and not some hot sweaty dude." No one is really sure who was there when the incident occurred, but those who were witness are sure to never forget it.

Following the pole dance the night continued without incident. Many drinks were had and a chugging contest broke out with the bartender. In one last moment of genius, before the night was through approximately 734 balloons were affixed to Marissa in various ways. Her exit from the basement party room in the the bar at large created quite a stir.

All in all the party was a success with many others showing up throughout the night to join in the revelry. Again, thanks to all those who were in attendance. Those who didn't... you are uninvited to the wedding.

Office Pranks

Here is a list of good office pranks:

1. Replaced all of your co-worker's pens and pencils with crayons.

2. Pay everyone in the office $5 to call your co-worker by a different name all day.

3. Place a bloody glove in your co-worker's desk drawer and try to convince him that he committed murder.

4. Tell you co-worker that there was an abandoned child in the women's bathroom. When you co-worker goes in to save the child he might see someone "on the can".

5. Slowly place a bunch of nickels in your co-worker's phone headset over a period of time so that your co-worker gets used to increased weight. Then take them all out so when your co-worker lifts the receiver using more force the required, expecting it to be heavier, he will hit himself in the head with it.

6. Placed a computer macro on your co-worker's computer to type "diapers" instead whenever your co-worker tries to type his name.

7. Move your co-worker's desk an inch every time he goes to the bathroom, so that at the end of the day it is two feet closer to the door.

Escapa!

This is a good time waster.

http://tinyurl.com/56t9u

Post your best score in the comments section below.

Watch your Waiter - A Joke for Tuesday

Last week, I went out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired a consultant to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. I was impressed.

After enjoying my soup, I noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.

I called the waiter over and said, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" he said.

Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 36.49 percent."

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

The evenings in Fremont hold a little bit of something for everyone:

You can enjoy watching the sun set over a picturesque lake from your pier surrounded by friends and loved ones,

The sun setting over Partridge Lake.

or,...

you can get Merkled with the Merkler at any number of Fremont's fine establishments.

The Merkler getting Merkled, Fremont WI

Another fun toy that we can't pass up!

Sevelor Inflatable Volleyball Set

It would almost be a shame to deny ourselves the fun that would be involved with this incredible Volleyball Set. Please take note that the set includes not only the net but ball as well.

I put the over/under on the destruction of this contraption due to aggressive play and general infighting at three matches. Here's how I envision it:

Eric spikes the ball in an overzealous attempt to get his team's first point. Such attempt is easily bumped by Celine resulting in the ball being pounded back in Eric's face by a vicious Tevenan spike. Eric, enraged by this jumps up to illegally block the next serve and in the process cuts his foot on a sharp rock. Eric picks up the rock and hurls it, tearing a gaping hole in the net supports, rendering it deflated and useless. As payback for the destruction of the $29 net, Ryan takes Eric's phone, which is currently resting in the boat, safe and dry, and drops into the water, ruining yet another of Eric's phones.

How can we pass up an adventure like that.

Also, I call not being the guy who has to sit in one of the innertubes on the side to anchor it in place.

http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/product.do?BV_UseBVCookie=Yes&vertical=SEARS&pid=00635488000&tab=des#tabs

Key West

Here's a good article in the Trib today about Key West. Just in case anyone forgot how awesome it is:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/travel/chi-0605060269may07,1,6022108.story?coll=chi-homepagetravel-hed

(you might need a Tribune login)

Kicks for '06

High five to 2005!

Ten Quotes about Fremont, WI

10. Fremont’s just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms... and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me...

9. There was a moment last night in Fremont, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".

8. True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from Fremont and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

7. Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a Fremont butcher's ass by sticking your head up there, but wouldn't you rather to take his word for it? No, I meant, you can get a good look at a T-bone steak by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.

6. So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life… except when I’m in Fremont.

5. If we get caught in Fremont, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.

4. Whoa whoa whoa. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up around Fremont or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog.

3. Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it Fremont, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.

2. I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions in Fremont? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

And the number one quote that you are most likely to hear about Fremont, Wisconsin...

1. Your mom goes to college… in Fremont.

Fragrant Beer Farts: Game #5 Update

The Farts kept up their unbeaten in getting beaten streak. We also extended our full-game streak to 2 games. Basically we are a softball juggernaut. Our fielding was much improved and would have been flawless if our outfielders where wearing their correct prescriptions. We are still overly excited and jumping on those first pitches. So as the true leader by action that he is, Ricky our star hitter taught us all how to wait on pitches by striking out whilst looking.

Speaking of strikeouts, we now lead the league in K's. In fact, it is almost a certainty that we lead ALL softball leagues this side of the Mississippi in K's. We have a team total of 15. Thanks goes out to Shawn and Phil M. who have puts hours into mastering the art of the strikeout and have really led the team by example in that category.

HUGE CONGRATULATIONS goes out to Phil B., who got his first hit of the season. Way to go Philly! "I am real happy for Philly," said Shawn Gnann after the game. "Me and Phil M. would really like to join Phil B. in getting out of the .000 dog house, but we really need to focus in getting our strikeout numbers up."

Game #6 is at 7pm again next week. We play the Never Nudes, the only other team that hasn't won (unless they did last night). The team we played last night actually had notched 2 wins before us, so don't feel so bad.

Eric "When will this nightmare end" Estela
FBF - GM

Today's Insult

Transcript of actual email conversation that occurred today regarding Fremont:

Carrie P ("The Devil"): Doesn't this place sound awesome? This could trump Fremont! http://www.wildmanranch.com/

Eric: Do you believe the balls of this broad?

Kirk: The whole point of Fremont is to do nothing. Apparently she doesn't get that. She is dead to me. Tell her to have fun at her ranch because she is officially uninvited.

Ryan: After the ropes course and trust falls, we can hang out on an awesome pontoon boat, and chat with the friendly Canadians. Oh, wait, they dont have an awesome pontoon boat and friendly Canadians. NEXT!!!

Mike: Carrie I think that sounds like fun!!! Oh wait no I don't, you are an ASS

Carrie: You can all go to hell.

Chris: You can tell it's great fun by the "What the fuck is wrong with this place?" look upon the participants' faces.....

Carrie: Ummm...are you Super-scheuer-Man that you can seethrough the back of people's heads to see their expressions?

Chris: body language, babe....

In summation - Carrie is uninvited as a traitor.

Top 10 things I want to do in Fremont, WI this year...

10. Watch Mike and St.John try and pick-up some townies
9. Buy a Wolf Ridge Cabins T-Shirt (not to be confused with the other awesome Tshirt I plan on creating at Strange Cargo the day before)
8. Watch someone else eat a 2lb Burger
7. Get another awesome fake tattoo
6. Watch Belanger ride a jet ski with a BuschLight in hand
5. Figure out a way to get Eric and Matt in the same cabin again
4. Not get in a fight with my girlfriend over smoking a little grass
3. Lead the 2nd Annual unofficial Fremont 4th of July Late Night Parade
2. Start a motor boat myself (instead of the world's most in-shape fat man coming down and starting it for me, and making me look like a helpless child in front of my girlfriend)
1. And, the number 1 thing I want to do in Fremont this year is ...
Ride the "Aqua Roller"!!!